King Stubby, reporting on the research into dihydrogen monoxide that has been done recently, sparking people into advocating the ban of such a dangerous substance.

Dihydrogen Monoxide is dangerous, even in small quantities. It has been known to cause human death in amounts as low as three fluid ounces. Some mountain climbers who get lost on the slopes of really tall mountains experience severe pain when their tissue is in prolonged contact with the solid state of DHMO. One of the most dangerous effects of DHMO, however, is that it is the primary component of acid rain, which poisons lakes, kills trees, and destroys croplands. It is also found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.


Some of the common uses of Dihydrogen Monoxide are just as dangerous. Almost 100% of all of the dogs in recent dog attacks had been given DHMO within six hours of the attack. DHMO has been proven to corrode magnesium, zinc, aluminum, and iron during prolonged contact. It's used in nuclear power plants, the propulsion of some older vehicles used by the military, biological and chemical warfare, genetic engineering of crops and animals, and as a spray on fire retardant. The Church of Scientology uses the substance on their members and their members' families although many members recently have denied this claim. DHMO has also been a major component in the home-brewed bombs that have been exploding in cars all over the middle east. Finally, there's been usage by members of Congress who are under investigation for financial corruption and inappropriate IM behavior.


With the numerous allegations of amateur and professional athletes using anabolic steroids and/or blood doping to enhance performance, virtually no attention has been paid to the performance enhancing properties of Dihydrogen Monoxide. It is perhaps the sporting world's dirtiest of dirty little secrets that athletes regularly ingest large quantities of DHMO in an effort to gain a competitive edge over an opponent.


And finally, here are some symptoms of DHMO overdose, which you should check for regularly.
*Excessive sweating and urination
*Nausea/vomiting
*Electrolyte imbalance
*Degeneration of sodium homeostasis
*Dangerously imbalanced levels of ECF and ICF in the blood

There has been constant debate on whether or not DHMO should be banned. what do you think?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you want, you can read more about DHMO here.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
PS: This is the Times news for the July edition. I wrote it myself, no copy/paste.

__________________

 

First non-me person to reply gets an internet cookie.

__________________

 

It's a very dangerous thing, honestly. Did you know it's in our water? The problem is, if we ban it, we'll eventually die due to the fact we're just that addicted.

 

Hilariously close, but not quite. Otherwise, your sentiments are what I agree with. +1 cookie.

__________________

 

as long as its not in the koolaid

 

yeah... every single major mass-suicide's poison contains DHMO.

__________________

 

does Jim Jones know about this?

 

Are you saying, +1, Cookie, or are you giving a Cookie a Cookie?

Also, maybe not in our water, but the ingredients in DHMO sure do make up our water.
And it is in Kool-Aid.

 

nicely written article, informitive and it looks nice on the front page, you should do it again sometime.

__________________
Hammering All Teh Newbs

 

I agree with luigi
good job

 

I'll probably do one or two like that a month.

__________________

 

They have a computer...
Yet they're still failing so hard.
This is sad, at least IRL when your science teacher hands you out these papers it's fine, cuz who the **** goes online to research.

 

Dihydrogen Monoxide.

Two Hydrogen One Oxygen

Water. I hate this old joke.

 

It's not a joke. every part of this is absolutely true.

__________________